And so it hit me like a ton of bricks, I'm growing up.

"Growing up is never easy. You hold on to things that were. You wonder what's to come. But that night, I think we knew it was time to let go of what had been, and look ahead to what would be. Other days. New days. Days to come. The thing is, we didn't have to hate each other for getting older. We just had to forgive ourselves... for growing up." - 'The Wonder Years'

It was a rough night for me. Wanting to hang out with Kamryn and spend time with Mitch turned into a nightmare, all because of my attitude. All I ever want to do is spend time with these people that mean so much to me before I leave-which is in two weeks from today, need I remind you?- that when I don't get to, or things don't go how I plan, I ruin it. Well i decided something, I'm not going to do that anymore. I'm done saying goodbye. I can't handle doing it anymore, I need to let go And after the much needed and appreciated help of Amy Mickey, I realized that I've known that for a while now. 

To let go isn’t to forget, not to think about, or ignore. It doesn’t leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. Letting go isn’t about winning or losing. It’s not about pride and it’s not about how you appear, and it’s not obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn’t blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and doesn’t leave emptiness, hurt, or sadness. It’s not about giving in or giving up. Letting go isn’t about loss and it’s not about defeat. To let go is to cherish the memories, but to overcome and move on. It is having an open mind confidence in the future. Letting go is learning and experiencing and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow. It’s about all that you have, all that you had, and all that you will soon gain. Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up.

And that's what I have to do now- grow up. Put on the  "big girl panties" and move on with my life. But someone wise once said, "Graduation is only a concept. In real life every day you graduate. Graduation is a process that goes on until the last day of your life. If you can grasp that, you'll make a difference." So now that this post has basically a collection of quotes and sayings, I guess I'll just let  you marinate on that. Life is good, and so- I'm letting go.